


Catalyst

by Claudia_flies



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Missing Scene, Porn with Feelings, Screw the Jedi code, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:43:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4972093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claudia_flies/pseuds/Claudia_flies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke and Mara. They way it should have happened after <i>The Last Command</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wayland

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those stories that has been in my head for years, in different forms and ideas. I’ve never really been able to write it down, to articulate it the way I wanted to. This is just one version of that story.
> 
> What spurred me on was that the opening night of _The Force Awakens_ is getting near, and it feels like an end of sorts. End to this particular story. While Disney announced that EU was no longer cannon a while ago, it feels like _The Force Awakens_ will finally make it so.
> 
> I feel like this the last chance saloon on getting this story out before it’s too late.
> 
> Mara was one of those few characters that truly spoke to me when I was young, made me think that I too can go out into the universe and kick ass. That was a long time ago now, and I have gone out into the world and kicked ass to a degree.
> 
> I wanted to write the story the way I would have wanted it to go. The way it will always have gone in my own personal cannon.
> 
> So, here it is. To my one and original OTP. One last time.

 

And someday love will find me in the rough  
Someday love will finally be enough  
\- Anna Nalick, _In the Rough_

 

Skywalker was examining the grating protecting the tunnel, the fingers of his mechanical hand feeling the metal in the alcove formed by the entrance.

“It’s not going to just open up for you”

Mara felt on edge, a mixture of pride in Imperial engineering and unease on what she was about to ask. He looked at her over his shoulder and motioned to the direction Calrissian and the droid had disappeared off to.

“Artoo’s going to check it out.”

For a moment he seemed to stop, and then turned to face her.

”You all right?”

Mara was disconcerted how he could read her even without the force present. She moved into the alcove proper, looking past him into the grating. She wasn’t quite sure what made her grip his human hand in hers.

“I want you to promise me something.”

His fingers seemed to instinctively wrap around hers, and the human contact helped. Helped to get the words out.

“Whatever it costs, don’t let me go over to C’baoth’s side. You understand? Don’t let me join him. Even if you have to kill me.”

Skywalker stared at her and for a moment, even in the oppressive heat of the forest, Mara felt chilled.

“C’baoth can’t force you to this side, Mara. Not without your cooperation.”

“Are you sure of that? _Really_ sure?”

He looked away and grimaced, not meeting her eyes, which was an answer enough. Skywalker’s voice was quiet, almost inaudible.

“No.”

“Neither am I… That’s what worries me. C’baoth told me back in Jomak that I’d be joining him. He said it again here, too, the night he arrived.”

“He may have been mistaken. Or lying.”

Skywalker suggested hesitantly, but Mara shook her head. This had to be done.

“I don’t want to risk it.”

Five years after the end of all she knew, and she had been able to build herself a life. Mara was not going to become a slave, even if it meant giving up on that life.

“I’m not going to serve him, Skywalker. I want you to promise that you’ll kill me before you let him do that to me.”

He seemed pained, and Mara wondered if this was too much to ask of a Jedi. If he would truly send her to serve C’baoth rather than cut her down.

“I’ll promise you this, whatever happens in there, you won’t have to face him alone. I’ll be there to help you.”

The voice. It was there, like always, at the back of her mind, urging her on.

“What if you’re already dead?”

He moved closer to her, their bodies almost touching in the gloom of the alcove.

“You don’t have to do it.”

There was quiet intimacy in his voice and for the first time, in the deep pit of her stomach Mara didn’t want to obey that command ringing in her head. It was unsettling.

“The Emperor’s dead. That voice you hear is just a memory he left behind inside you.”

“I know that.”

She shook her head angrily, trying to break the connection.

“You think that makes it any easier to ignore?”

“No.”

Skywalker’s voice was gentle and firm, bringing her back.

“But you can’t use the voice as an excuse, either. Your destiny is in your hands, Mara. Not C’baoth’s or the Emperor’s. In the end you’re the one who makes the decisions.”

He was so close. She could feel the heat radiating from his body even with the humidity of the jungle. She couldn’t look away from his icy blue eyes, even if she wanted to. They held so much faith. Faith _in her_.

“You have that right… And that responsibility.”

“Luke…”

He lifted his mechanical hand to touch her cheek, his other hand still held tightly in her grip. Afterwards, Mara would tell herself that it was the heat of the jungle, the fear rolling in her stomach, the exhaustion, anything but her own actions that closed the distance between them.

She kissed Skywalker fervently, desperately, and he responded, his lips opening under hers. His hand tilting her head to the side for a better angle and Mara though that she could weep.

She pushed him to the wall of the alcove, pressing their bodies together, feeling him; lips, chest, legs pressed against her own. He kissed her with a hunger that matched her own, pulling her closer, his hands starting to roam down her back.

Artoo’s whistle and bleep cut through the silence, followed by rustling undergrowth and sound of footsteps.

Mara ripped herself out of the embrace, putting as much distance between herself and Skywalker as possible.

“Mara, wait…”

But he was not able to finish before Solo crashed though the woods into the clearing.

“You spout philosophy if you want to. Just remember what I said.”

Mara was pleased at the steadiness of her own voice. Pulling on all of her Imperial training and discipline she spun around to face the group that had just arrived.

“So, what’s going on Solo?”


	2. The Party or “Hey baby, wanna go violate the Jedi code?”

And I'd be inclined to be yours for the taking  
And part of this terrible mess that you're making  
But me, I'm the catalyst  
\- Anna Nalick, _Catalyst_

 

With the water from the shower cooling on her skin Mara looked out into the lights of Coruscant’s early evening. It wasn’t yet the magnificent light show it would be later on, but watching the glittering signs, flashing speeders and landing ships was pleasant enough.

Three months. Three months since Wayland and since she agreed to be the liaison for the Smuggler’s Alliance. Three months since that kiss. A kiss that had come to haunt her dreams and lurk in the edges of her waking hours. Her traitorous mind had not been happy to merely reminiscent that particular event, but to come up with myriad of scenarios on how things could have progressed.

Lately Mara had been waking up from a mental image of Skywalker’s face buried between her legs. Which horrified her to no end, but not enough to stop her from finishing herself off in the tight space of her ship’s berth.

It was these thoughts that had made her take the detour on the way to Coruscant. To a dusty little planet, not more than a desolate trading post and unlock the storage container she had been paying for all these years, and take out _that_ dress. The garment bag now hung in the lodging rooms she had been assigned, silently judging her.

Karrde had been adamant that the banquet was totally optional while making it clear that her presence was very much required. All of Coruscant’s society would be there, as would most of the cream of New Republic’s ruling elite. And it’s biggest heroes.

She took another look at the garment bag.

_Oh, for sith’s sake Jade, it wasn’t even that good of a kiss!_

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Mara turned in front of the narrow mirror. There hadn’t been a Grand Admiral or even a Moff whose head the dress hadn’t turned, back in the Imperial heyday. Black, pearl embroidered flowing silk with a dangerously low back.

Mara was grateful that her skills, while rusty, had still been in hand to turn her hair into an effortless chignon, with a few deliberately seductive wisps escaping down her neck. No, there was nothing about this evening that she was going to be leaving to chance.

The lift down to the promenade level was blissfully empty, allowing Mara to admire the view of Senate Square through the all glass elevator on her own. She was finally getting used to being back in the Core and starting to forge new memories of the place.

She could see Karrde, Ghent and Chin standing by the Garden Entrance. While Karrde was his smooth and suave self even in the flashiest of outfits, both Chin and Ghent seemed ill at ease in their formal attire. Ghent was fiddling with his collar, trying to pull it looser, giving Chin his best _rescue me now_ look.

Mara flicked the train of her dress into place with the heel of her shoe, and with her best Imperial courtier walk, approached the group.

“Are we ready, gentlemen?”

The identical look of astonishment on both Ghent and Chin’s faces was quite amusing. Mara wasn’t sure if either of them had ever seen her out of her flightsuit. Karrde on the other hand let out an appreciative murmur.

“Mara, you look… Stunning.”

She shrugged at him, feigning nonchalance.

“You told me to dress up.”

Karrde chuckled, always too perceptive for Mara’s liking.

“I assume this is not purely for my benefit?”

“I have no idea what you can possibly mean.”

Mara walked past the group, moving to enter the reception gardens. Karrde quickly darted to walk by her side, and leaned in to whisper:

“Oh, don’t worry. He will most definitely notice. I’m not quite sure how he could not.”

Mara smacked him on the side with a bit more force than she had originally intended.

“Oh, shut up…”

Karrde threw his head back and laughed. It was not often that he got to see the indomitable Mara Jade off kilter.

The reception gardens were beautifully crafted in the old, pre-Empire, Coruscant style. They were designed to slowly funnel everyone to the main hall, while giving each guest an individual entrance down the grand staircase. It was great for big egos and even better for assassinations. Palaptine had loved the hall just for that reason.

Their little group reached the stairs with the Hall of Wonders, as it was know, opening in front of them. The domed ceiling glittered with millions of gemstones that had been forged into the stone giving the hall an unusual light.

Karrde motioned towards the stairs, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Ladies first. I wouldn’t want to take this particular moment away from you.”

Mara shot him a dirty look while Ghent and Chin looked on in confusion. The longer she waited the more awkward this would get. Mara squared her shoulders and started down the stairs. The light from the gemstones caught the pearls in her dress and made it sparkle and shine. Several courtiers and emissaries turned to watch her decent.

She felt him see her, a jolt of static electricity through the force, before she saw him standing next to Solo and Calrissian by the bar. Skywalker was dressed in his usual black Jedi tunic and pants, but his black boots seemed to have been given an extra shine.

She knew that Karrde was watching her from the top of the stairs. Probably wearing a smug grin. _The Bastard_.

Mara had done this hundreds of times. Walked into a party, caught her target’s eye and finished the job. But this was not a job; there was no endgame. This was for no one but her, _she_ was the one who wanted this.

Mara could feel the hesitant touch of Skywalker’s mind against her own, in a wordless question.

_Yes, this is for you._

He didn’t respond but his mind did not withdraw. His blue eyes tracking her as she made her way to the bar.

Calrissian let out a low whistle and Mara gave him a withering glare.

“A piece of advice, Calrissian. You whistle at animals, not women.”

Solo snorted into his drink and turned to cough to the side, while Skywalker gave his back a half-hearted whack.

Mara leaned over the bar to wave the serving droid over, while making sure that Skywalker was definitely checking out the curve of her back.

_It’s very… Striking._

His hesitant words were like balm against her nerves, but Mara couldn’t stop her own acerbic retort.

_That was the point._

The serving droid slid her drink onto the bar, and Mara turned back to the group in time to see Karrde amble past them with a hello and a wave. She shot him a look saying _don’t you dare_ , only to be answered by his oh, so innocent _who me_ shrug. She was distracted away from shooting daggers at Karrde by Calrissian who had moved to stand next to her at the bar.

“So, Miss Jade, it is lovely to see you again. Especially at a such a marvelous function.”

Both Calrissian and Solo were now between her and Skywalker. She eyed the dance floor. The band had not yet set up, but music was being played over the speakers and several couples were already on the floor, mostly older diplomats and senators.

“As a liaison between the Smuggler’s Alliance and the New Republic my presence was expected.”

“And what a beautiful presence it is.”

Calrissian was almost purring now. Mara rolled her eyes and picked off an olive from the cocktail stick in her martini with her teeth.

“Is that what you are going with, Calrissian? Nothing more original?”

He smiled and sipped his own drink.

“Whatever works, sweetheart.”

And then he winked at her.

_Skywalker if you are not going to rescue me right now…._

She could feel Skywalker laughing, but good-naturedly he came around Han and offered her his hand:

“Mara, would you like to dance?”

Calrissian shot him an incredulous look, but Skywalker just smiled like nothing was amiss. Mara downed her martini in one gulp:

“Why, Skywalker I would love to!”

The black leather of Skywalker’s glove was warm against her back as he led her to the floor. Mara had noticed that he always wore the glove in public.

He seemed to only know the very basic steps, but Mara didn’t mind, not now. She made sure that they moved out of earshot of any of the other couples sparsely dotted around the dance floor, before leaning in:

“I have a proposition for you.”

Skywalker nodded, seemingly engrossed in getting his steps right.

“After Wayland, I’m finding myself distracted in your company.”

Mara felt him stiffen. And miss a step.

“And correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem to be unable to take your eyes off me.”

A turn, and an almost imperceptible tightening of his hold around her back.

“We can try to avoid each other, only seeing each other in crowded meetings or public places.”

He turned to look at her and at this close distance she could clearly read his opposition to that suggestion in his eyes.

“Or we can rip off the band aid. Just this once.”

“’Rip off the band aid’… Well that’s genuinely the most alluring proposition I’ve ever had.”

Again the attractive mix of humor and that straight up farm boy honesty she had come to expect from him. She let him lead her into another turn, seeing both Solo and Calrissian watching them.

“So, what do you say? Shall we finish the dance and you can return to your friends…”

She leaned into him; letting her body press into his as her lips grazed his ear.

“Or, are you going to take me to your place and show me all the tricks that Jedi Master’s have in their arsenal?”

She could feel the shudder run through him, sense the split second of carnal images that flashed though his mind at her words. Maybe those dreams that had been pestering her had been plaguing him as well.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Han watched Luke and Mara slip out through a hidden side exit near the bandstand where the evening’s entertainment was still being set up.

Lando ordered another drink and grumbled:

“Gotta give the kid some chops. No quite sure how he pulled that one off.”

Han finished his whisky and shook his head.

“Give it up Lando, you had no chance with her. I’m pretty sure that there was a conversation going on between those two that we were not privy to even before she got to the bar.”

“Jedi mind trick?”

“Luke’s cool in a crisis, but he isn’t the best at hiding his emotions. Even with the Jedi mind trick.”

Han waved the serving droid for another drink.

“Was there something going on between those two? Before today I mean.”

“I think so. I think that something happened in Wayland. Luke never said anything, but…”

“Smuggler gut feeling?”

“Yeah.”

Han just hoped that whatever was going on, Luke was not going to go and do something stupid. She had wanted to kill him not too long ago after all.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The door closed leaving them in the dark of Skywalker’s entrance hall, only illuminated by the eerie light from the data pads in the living area. His closeness and the dark reminded Mara of the alcove. He reached out to caress her cheek again, leaving a trace of heat in his wake, but the moment was broken by a happy bleep from the living room.

“Not now, Artoo.”

Luke smiled apologetically, and shrugged.

“Would you like…”

Before he could finish his question, Mara had grabbed hold of the front of his tunic and pressed him against the wall of the hallway.

_Don’t talk._

She didn’t want to talk, or drink, or worse to turn on the lights. It might make her think what she was about to do. It might make her stop.

Instead Mara kissed him. Desperately. Exactly like she remembered from Wayland. Luke pulled her closer, his hands spreading over her exposed back.

_I can do that._

The touch of his mind made Mara’s knees weak, even if she would have never admitted it to anyone. Judging from the way Luke smiled into the kiss he could tell in any case. Mara grabbed his collar, pushing him harder into the wall and caught his lower lip between her teeth in retaliation.

She could feel his hands roam down her back and over her butt, up her sides and graze the side of her breasts. The silk of her dress and the heat from his palms sent delicious shivers down her spine.

Luke pushed against her, moving them away from the wall and with a firm grip on her hips lifted her on top of a bureau resting in the side of the hallway. With a wicked grin Mara hadn’t though him capable of, his hands pushed the hem of her dress up her legs. Higher and higher until his fingers reached the side of her hips and felt… nothing. Nothing but bare skin. He looked at her slightly scandalized and Mara was touched to still see some of that farm boy innocence.

“Not really a dress for wearing underwear.”

Mara pulled him to her until his hips were flush between her legs. The feel of him, masculine and strong, the raw open mouth kisses and the deep flush of her own arousal was a heady combination. She was half a mind of unbuckling his belt and just fucking him right here in the entrance hall. Luke seemed to sense her thoughts.

_Oh no, you don’t get off that easy._

He smiled into the kiss as hands travelled down her back and under her butt. Without any effort he lifted her up and Mara wrapped her legs around his hips. Luke carried her through the darkened apartment into his bedroom.

The room was spartan, no decorations or personal items. But there was a bed. A very big bed.

Luke lowered her onto the covers and kneeled in front of her, pulling her hips right to the edge of the bed. She was still wearing the dress, the skirt now bunched around her hips.

“I dreamed about this.”

The words were spoken against her skin, and Mara wasn’t sure if she was even supposed to hear them.

_So did I._

Mara closed her eyes and guided him, fingers and mouth, exactly to the right places. The places that made her moan and shiver. She could feel the force thrumming gently against her and inside her at his fingertips.

It felt both like forever and like no time at all, but finally her orgasm was wrenched from some deep faraway place inside of her. Luke kept the gentle pressure against her and let her ride the wave over and over.

The slide of Luke’s mind against her own caught her off guard, he was looking for a connection, trying to catch the traces of her pleasure. Mara let her mind run against his, gently entwining together. She found his hand resting against her hip and laced their fingers together.

Standing next to the bed, Mara unzipped the dress and slipped her arms out of the straps holding up the front. With the weight of the pearls, the dress dropped around her feet in a bundle of silk. As if it had been designed for this. Standing naked, with Luke still fully dressed should have made her feel vulnerable, but seeing the hunger in his eyes made her feel powerful.

She moved to him and began to slowly undo his tunic, from the clasp at his neck down to his chest. Luke stood still, letting her undress him, slowly revealing more skin. Skin and scars. She touched the puckered skin, running her fingers over the geography that had made him.

Gently he took her face into his hands, palms cupping her jaw and kissed her again. But this time it was different, gentler, questioning. Like they were crossing into uncharted territory. Mara clung to him, and tried to deepen the kiss, not wanting this to mean anything.

_It’s all right._

Luke rested his forehead against hers, their rabid breathing mixing and filling the spaces in between.

He lifted her again, now skin against skin, carrying her back to the bed. The rumbled covers were cool against her back and his hands warm on her thighs. Those intense blue eyes boring into her as her worked his cock inside of her.

The feel of him, filling her and the gentle touch of his mind against her own. This is what she needed, had wanted since Wayland. Maybe since Myrkr.

_Oh, please, please don’t stop._

Easing her knee over his shoulder, Luke smiled at her, eyes full of promise.

_I won’t. I promise._

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Mara wasn’t sure what woke her. It was still early, the light peeking between the curtains was grey and wane. Skywalker was still asleep, his sandy blond head buried in a mound of pillows. Slowly Mara extracted herself from the bed, pulling the sheet with her and wrapping it around herself as she made her way to the kitchen.

After rummaging through Luke’s pathetically bare fridge she was able to make herself a black coffee from the automation fixed to the wall. She made her way to the window with her steaming cup and watched out into Coruscant’s early morning fog. It was the only time of the day when the lights were muted, almost non-existent.

A suspicious whistle came from the corner where Skywalker’s astromech droid was resting. Its little dome whirled until its beady camera unit was facing her. They regarded each other for a moment and the droid bleeped again disapprovingly.

_Great, I’m being slut shamed by a droid now._

She returned her gaze to the foggy city. She was feeling better. More centered. _Satisfied_. She’d missed sex more than she had admitted to herself in these past few years of her self imposed celibacy.

_Don’t shit where you eat._

And while there had been opportunities during smuggling runs with locals or even with some of the marks, she hadn’t wanted to mess up her one good chance of building a better life just by some mediocre action.

Last night had been anything but mediocre. Her toes curled against the heated floor tiles at the memory.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Luke watched her from the door of the bedroom, her luminous hair like a halo in the early morning light. He could sense through the force the memory she was reliving and it made him smile in satisfaction.

She had been right last night. He had been thinking about her since Wayland, much more than he should admit. There had been several disrupted meditations and quite a few lightsaber practices borne out of frustration.

Gently he reached out to her through the force, and she jerked away from the window and turned to him. Luke could feel her mental barriers slam into place.

“Sith, Skywalker.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, it’s fine. I needed to head off anyway.”

She chugged back whatever she had in the mug she was holding.

He watched as she shimmied back into the dress, pulling the small shoulder straps into place.

“You don’t have to go yet, it’s still very early.”

She shot him a look over her shoulder warning him off the subject. She grabbed her shoes from where they had fallen the night before and worked them onto her feet.

Luke felt unsure. He didn’t want to let her go yet, thoughts of shared breakfast, maybe a walk in the park, still fresh in his mind. She seemed to sense his thoughts.

“This was just a one time thing. Just to get it out of our system.”

She wouldn’t look at him in the dark of the hallway and her mental barriers were stronger than ever, warding him off.

Luke decided not to push. This was not the time. What he had learned of Mara during their time together was that she did not respond well to being pressured or cornered.

She didn’t look back as she slipped out through the door. Luke could feel her mental turmoil even as the elevator took her down and out of his building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might a bit of a while for the next chapter as I'm still in the process of writing it. :)


	3. Headspace

Damn I hate the way you know me  
And damn  
You kill me when you hold me  
Like I'm your world  
Like this won’t hurt  
\- Leann Rimes, _Damn_

 

Mara did not want to be back in Coruscant. Especially not so soon, it had only been a few weeks since the banquet and Karrde had come up with variety of creative reasons why Mara needed to go back.

_Bastard_.

Now she was sitting through a marathon of boring trading regulation meetings and her input was not needed on any of the negotiations. And worse of all, Skywalker was there. Why in the Emperor’s name was he in a trade regulation meeting. Mara was half of the opinion that Karrde had invited him just to try and get under her skin.

Mara rubbed her hands against her legs under the table, the exhaustion of keeping up her mental barriers against Skywalker was starting to wear on her. She had hoped that after the banquet the dreams would ease, and whatever had happened at Wayland would be out of her system.

Instead it was worse. Now it wasn’t just the sex she wanted, now she woke up missing him. Those earnest eyes and gentle hands. She wanted him close, the comfort of his mind against her own. Mara was disgusted at herself. She had never formed long-term attachments, sex was there just to satisfy a physical need, and at no point in her life had she felt any inclination to form emotional bonds with the men she bedded. Until now.

She eyed Skywalker resentfully. He had managed to get under her skin, make her _want_ things. Things that she had no business having. Ex-Imperial agents did not get happy endings with noble Jedi Knights.

As soon as the slide deck was closed Mara was out of her chair and out the door. She ignored a few delegates who had clearly waited to speak with her, with a hasty “excuse me”.

She was nearly out of the conference building when Skywalker caught her, his hand touching her shoulder to catch her attention and smiled at her, earnest and sweet.

“Mara, it’s good to see you.”

Mara felt the rush of emotion she refused to name crash against the steel walls of her will.

“I’m sorry, I really have to go.”

Mara didn’t stop to wait for his reply, but rushed out of the large double doors of the conference center.

Her shoulder, where Luke had laid his hand, was tingling.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Civic Park was still as she remembered. It had been spared the worst of the bombings during the battle of Coruscant and the old trees, the flowers and the running paths were exactly as she remembered them. The sky was starting to darken and the paths were almost abandoned which suited Mara perfectly.

She set off on the Round Path, which would take her fully around the park and up Civic Hill, hopefully to catch the last of the sunset. This is what she needed, some exercise to clear her head and a beautiful sunset.

Running had always been good at calming her mind, at finding that meditative state where nothing else but her breath and putting one foot in front of the other mattered. While she loved dancing, it had always been more about performance, more how her body looked to the audience. Running was something that was just for her.

But this time the calmness did not come. No matter ho much she focused on her breath or counted her steps, she could not shake the feeling of Skywalker’s touch. It was like a brand burned into her shoulder.

_It’s great to see you_.

Mara upped her pace, pushing herself faster and harder. Her lungs burned as she sprinted up Civic Hill. By the top of the hill her muscles were starting to shake, forcing her to stop and stretch by the observation bench. There was no one else in the beauty spot, which Mara was grateful for.

The sunset was indeed magnificent. Coruscant Prime painted the sky in brilliant pinks and lilacs as it slowly dipped behind the horizon. Mara watched the play of colors and let her mind go back to that night three weeks ago.

It was so easy to conjure up the feel of his lips against her own, the feel of his body against hers. The comfort of his mind around hers, and just for a moment to not feel alone in the universe.

Mara closed her eyes and reached out through the force. Through Civic Park and past the government buildings, and into the tall apartment complex. Up, up to the 84th floor. She could feel him in meditation, the flow of calm energy and his mind focused inwards. But before she could retreat:

_Mara?_

She felt embarrassed.

_I was just checking if you were home. Sorry for disturbing you_.

She was about to retreat again:

_Don’t go._

Their minds were moving hesitantly around each other. She felt the connection tugging at her chest, the almost physical pull of memory. She wasn’t entirely sure what made her turn the feeling into words:

_Can I come over?_

Warmth enveloped her from Skywalker’s side of the connection.

_Always_.

Mara opened her eyes to see the last rays of Cosruscant Prime dip below the horizon, leaving her in twilight.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Luke blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light of the living room. Artoo was connected to the power port in the corner with most of his lights powered down. He could feel Mara starting to run down Civic Hill. On her way to him. He wasn’t sure if any of his Jedi Master’s had ever had to contend with something like this. He wondered what advice Ben would have had for him. And then promptly realized that he would have never asked Ben advice on his love life.

Luke never considered himself a man that was easily distracted by beautiful women. He prided himself on keeping a cool head, even in places like Darthomir. But Mara threw all of his best intentions out the window. If he was completely honest with himself he had, as they used to say on Tattooine, fancied the pants off her ever since they met.

He had wondered over their connection, the way they had fallen into an easy pattern of cooperation even with Palpatine’s hateful words and thoughts poisoning Mara’s mind. The compulsion he had felt at _Katana_ to find her, the relief when he located her broken ejector seat in the rubble, the brief moment of elation as he held her in his arms in the landing bay before the medical droids had bundled her into the EnviroPod. The tingling he had felt where her body had touched his had stayed with him for hours. Luke had blamed it on adrenaline, on the relief of saving her life.

Now he wasn’t so sure. When Mara had kissed him in Wayland, it had felt like another piece falling into place. Later he had been grateful, that they had been in the ysalamir generated bubble. If C’baoth would have picked up on their connection… Luke shuddered at the thought.

“We’re going to have a guest, Artoo.”

The droid gave a questioning blurb.

“Just be nice to her this time.”

Luke could clearly hear the judgment implicit in the bleep and whistle that followed. He patted Artoo on the side and smiled. Even his droid was trying to protect his virtue. Han had been coming out with some veiled and some not so veiled comments after the Banquet, but Luke had just played innocent. Mara wasn’t something that he wanted to discuss, even with his friend. Not yet anyway.

Luke could feel her in the lift, her thoughts reaching out to him, as she walked down the hall. She stood there, flushed and sweaty, as Luke slid the door open. Before he could get a greeting out she had walked into the apartment and pinned him to the wall with a kiss. The automatic door slid closed, leaving them once again in the dark of the hallway.

Mara toed off her running shoes, kicking them into the corner while tugging Luke towards the bedroom. He pulled her shirt over her head, pressing her against the wall and Mara rewarded him with hungry kisses. Her hands found their way under his shirt, her fingers raking over his back.

Her urgency was infectious, but within the stream of her wanton thoughts Luke was able to pick up feelings sneaking past her mental barriers. Her raw need for a connection and her crippling fear of rejection. He was trying to soak his touch with warmth and _safety_. Trying to make her understand in flesh what he was not able to say in words.

They stumbled into the bedroom, shedding clothes as they went. Mara pushed him onto the bed and Luke didn’t resist. Pulling her onto him and capturing her lips in another bruising kiss.

Her fingers wrapped around the base of his cock as she eased him inside the tight heat of her body. Her head was thrown back, eyes closed and lips parted like a painting of an old republic goddess. Slowly, she started to move, her hips meeting his in gentle waves.

She was leaning against him panting heavily, the fingers of her left hand flexing against his chest while her other hand was buried between her legs working slow circular motions. Her knees felt like vice against this sides and Luke squeezed her hips with his hands, pushing himself deeper inside her.

_Luke. Luke. Luke. Luke._

She chanted his name in her mind. Suddenly her knees spread on the bed as she came, trying to push their bodies closer and closer as her body convulsed around him, her toes curling against his legs.

Easily Luke rolled them over, resting his weight on his elbows.

Mara opened her eyes, brilliant green looking straight at him. She brought her palm to cradle his cheek, her fingers running gently over the vulnerable skin around his eyes.

“Luke.”

His name, just a whisper against his lips as Luke began to move, his hands under her back pulling her tightly to him. Mara wrapped her arms around his shoulders, letting him set the pace. It didn’t take long, the pressure had been building at the base of his spine since she had started to run towards him down Civic Hill. She held him in a resolute kiss through his orgasm, drinking each moan and sigh from him.

They lay among the rumpled covers, sweat cooling on their skin, and with Mara resting against Luke’s chest, her nose in the hollow if his throat. He held her close, in this perfect peaceful moment, giving her the warmth and the safety she craved. And this time she let him.

Slowly Mara disentangled herself from their embrace. Luke could feel her starting to reconstruct some of her barriers. She looked around the darkened bedroom.

“Do you mind if I have a shower?”

“Go a head.”

Luke nodded towards the door of the bathroom in the corner of the room. He rolled over to admire the motion of the muscles of her back and legs as she crossed the room. Maybe sensing his thoughts she paused at the door, and with a hint of smile in her voice:

“You can always join me.”

Luke chuckled as she disappeared though the door. For a moment he laid on the bed, letting the thump of his heartbeat return to normal. He wondered if it was always this intense between two force users, and felt once again the bang of responsibility. There was no one to ask, no resource for something as basic as this.

Luke sighed and got up. He opened one of the cupboards in the room and pulled out some additional bedding for Mara. He was so used to bachelor living that he only had a single pillow on the bed, and last time Mara had hijacked it.

He looked at the closed bathroom door, the thrum of the shower clear though the wall. Maybe his theory of two force users just needed further study. Testing was important for any hypothesis. Luke opened the door and stepped into the steam filled room.

_I thought I’d take you up on your offer._

Mara was already in the shower, water and soapsuds cascading down her body. Luke stood there for a moment admiring the view.

_Well, are you going to stand there all night, or come in here and wash my back._

The thought was acerbic, but had an undercurrent of satisfaction as well.

He stepped into the shower, pressing himself against her, his hands sliding over her wet skin. She molded against him, her warm body stirring his desires again.

Luke reached out his hand and a luffa sponge gently levitated off the shelf in the opposite side of the bathroom. Mara narrowed her eyes at the floating luffa.

“Show off.”

Luke smiled and ran the sponge over her shoulder blades and down her spine. Mara was leaning against him, eyes closed and Luke could sense how much pleasure this simple act was brining her. He placed a gentle kiss against her shoulder, murmuring her name.

Her hands travelled down his chest and over his belly, wrapping expertly around his erection. Her touch was teasing and certain in equal measure. Not wanting to be outdone, he let his own fingers travel between her legs, teasing over her bundle of nerves and pushing in. Gently he crooked his fingers, his thumb playing circles over her clit. A long appreciative moan escaped her, fingers momentarily stilling around his cock.

Luke lifted her, using the force to anchor her to the wet shower wall, and sheathed himself inside of her.

_Finally a sensible use of the force._

She was teasing, but Luke could easily recognize the haze of arousal over her thoughts. He pushed deeper and her breath hitched. Her fingertips were pressing against his shoulder blades, head thrown back, hips urging a faster pace. Luke obliged, lifting her legs higher around his back.

He closed his eyes, letting the force flow through him, exacting rhythmic pressure against her clit.

Mara howled, an expletive filled scream, as she came. Her orgasm rippling around him as much thought the force as it was around his body.

Luke groaned, his face pressed against her chest as he came not long behind her, with slightly less force this time. He wasn’t eighteen anymore.

_Oh, but I bet you were cute back then._

Still teasing, but also gentle. Her fingers running though the wet hair at the back of his neck.

Wrapped in towels they made their way back to the bedroom. Mara crawled between the covers, pulling most of them around herself like a cocoon.

Luke checked that everything was powered down before crawling in after her and pulling her to his chest. She stiffened at first and Luke could feel the conflict in her thoughts. Eventually one side seemed to win and she relaxed against him, her fingers lacing between his the way they had that first time in Wayland.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

“Yes, we’re going to see uncle Luke, yes we are.”

Leia was gently swaying her weight from foot to foot as the elevator took her to the 84th floor. Jacen was already fast asleep in the pram, the short walk from their building to Luke’s already lulling him to sleep. Jaina on the other had was still awake in the carrier against Leia’s chest, her little hands playing with the cluster of ribbons Leia had attached to the carrier.

Gently she eased the pram from the lift, careful to not jolt Jacen awake.

Luke was always happy to accompany her to these early morning walks when the twins were being fussy. He was an early riser and had never minded Leia showing up on his door.

She swiped her access card on the keypad and reversed herself and the pram into the dark hallway.

Gently she reached out through the force into the apartment and called out:

“Luke, you around?”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Mara jerked awake. Someone was in the apartment. She could feel the probe through the force, even if it wasn’t meant for her. And she could feel a presence in the hallway. A presence she recognized.

“Luke, wake up.”

She hissed in Skywalker’s ear, shaking him.

“Your sister is here.”

Skywalker mumbled something and tried to bury his head back underneath his pillow. Mara shook him with more force and hissed as loudly as she dared:

“Leia. Is. Here. Get up!”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Leia jerked, pulling back her force sense from the bedroom. Luke wasn’t alone. She blushed furiously and swayed back and forth with a bit more vigor than necessarily.

Looking around, she spotted women’s running shoes and what looked like a lump of clothing on the floor further down the hallway.

Jaina gurgled at her, pulling on the ribbons.

“Yes, uncle Luke has a visitor, yes he does.”

Luke appeared from the bedroom wearing his pajama pants and pulling on a T-shirt.

“Leia, hi!”

He grabbed the lump of clothing and threw it into the bedroom and closed the door in one swift motion.

“Hi! How come you didn’t call?”

Luke’s hair was still mussed from sleep, with pillow creases on his cheek. Leia felt herself blushing again.

“The twins were fussing, I thought we might go for a walk again… I didn’t know you… Sorry I didn’t call…”

“Yes, of course, I’d love to go but…”

Luke as making vague hand gestures to the direction of the bedroom, and Leia had a feeling that the occupant of the bedroom was very aware of the awkward feelings they were both projecting. She tried to inject some lightheartedness into her voice:

“Yes, no problem at all!”

Behind Luke the bedroom door opened and Mara Jade appeared. She was dressed in tight leggings and in the lump that turned out to be a long sleeved running shirt. Her feet were bare and her hair was pulled into a hasty ponytail.

“I was just leaving.”

She wouldn’t look at either of them. Her body language more closed off than Leia had seen from the other woman, not that Mara was particularly open even at the best of times. Leia tried to object:

“Oh, no you don’t have to! It’s my fault coming unannounced.”

Mara’s gaze was resolutely on the sneakers in the corner.

“You should go for your walk….”

Mara pulled on the running shoes and eyed the pram blocking the doorway, clearly calculating if she could shimmy past it.

“Would you mind…”

She tilted her head towards the door. Hesitantly, while watching Luke, Leia reversed the pram further into the apartment.

As soon as she was able, Mara darted out of the door without a goodbye. Both her and Luke stood in the hallway in silence until the distant hum of the turbolift had completely disappeared.

“I’m so sorry, Luke, I didn’t realize that she was here.”

“That’s all right, Leia.”

He was looking at the closed door forlornly.

“Are you two…”

She let the question hang in the air.

“To be honest Leia, I don’t really know. I’d like it to be…”

He seemed at a loss for words, almost as if he didn’t dare to voice his wishes out loud. Leia could feel the small tendrils of his hope though the force, and the great sadness of having to watch her leave.

Luke turned to her, leaning against the wall.

“I thought that this time, I would have been able to make her stay, maybe talk a bit…”

“Until I barged my way in and freaked her out.”

Leia finished for him. Luke shrugged apologetically, looking at her with a sad half-smile.

Clearly fed up with the lack of motion of the pram Jacen started to fuss, making short, unhappy noises that often indicated a full on, lung bursting cry.

“Let’s just go for that walk, I’ll just quickly get dressed.”

Leia nodded, as she started to push the pram back and forth in the hallway, her mind racing how to fix this situation.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Mara pressed her back against the wall of the turbolift, trying to force the cool press of the metal to subdue all the feelings forcing their way against the steel barriers she had constructed in her mind. She would not let this get to her. _She would not_.

On the walk between Skywalker’s and her building, Mara made the realization that not letting this get to her was definitely not an option. The feelings welling inside of her were unequivocally going to crack the steel of her resolve. She kept telling herself that as soon as she got to the safety of her lodging rooms she could have a full blown meltdown in private.

As she rounded the corner of the building Mara saw Karrde, sitting in the foyer, leisurely flipping through the property holos, like he had all the time in the world and hadn’t come there to spy on anyone.

All the anger, hurt and humiliation she was trying to suppress finally broke through. Organa Solo’s face when she saw her in Luke’s apartment swam across her vision. The rage at her own inability to keep away from Skywalker and keep her pants on flushed though her body. She could feel the tears trying to break, but she was not going to let herself cry. Not in front of Karrde of all people.

Before she was even fully aware of what she was doing, an angry shout tore itself out of her:

“You! You sent me here! All of this is your fault!”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Karrde was sitting in the foyer of Mara’s building, trying to distract himself with the property holos on display. She hadn’t been at her apartment and Karrde had decided to wait in case she had gone out for an early morning run. A few of his contacts had reported that Mara had been less than her usual sly self in the meetings, which had worried Karrde enough to swing by Cursucant.

He was so engrossed in a brochure of a top floor apartment on the newly constructed Windchime Quarter that he missed Mara arriving until her voice broke though the calm of the reception:

“You! You sent me here! All of this is your fault!”

She was wearing her running gear, but her face was red and blotchy and she was pointing an accusing finger in Karrde’s direction.

“Mara? Is everything all right?”

His words seemed to jolt her out of her anger, her face suddenly collapsing into a grimace.

“Oh, sith. What did I do…”

She slumped on the sofa with her head in her hands. Karrde had never seen her like this, so out of control. He patted her on the shoulder awkwardly.

“Come on, Mara, let me take you to breakfast. You’ll feel better after.”

Karrde hailed a taxi from the main thoroughfare passing Mara’s building. She let herself be bundled into the taxi, which was so out of character that Karrde was now starting to truly worry.

_Edda’s Caffe_ was one of the best old-style diners still functioning in the top levels of the city. Most of them had been driven away by rent rises and lack of patrons. Karrde had often wondered if the diner, not matter how good the food was, was actually a front for money laundering.

They were quickly given a private booth in the back of the diner, as Karrde slid a few credits to the girl serving as front of house. Mara slid into her seat, ignoring the menu, and refusing to meet Karrde’s eye as well.

The serving droid greeted them with a slightly broken warble, clearly in need of maintenance. Mara was still resolutely keeping her eyes fixed to the window. Karrde ordered coffee, hotcakes and a selection of breakfast sandwiches for both of them, which all arrived at speed.

Karrde took a few bites from one of the breakfast sandwiches, greatly enjoying the grease and starch. Mara wasn’t touching her food or the coffee. Which lead Karrde to the conclusion that he might as well get right to the heart of the issue.

“I assume that this is something to do with Skywalker again?”

That got a response from her, Mara’s body froze for a second as if she was fighting some great internal battle.

“How did you know? I mean, before the banquet.”

It was a fair question. Over the years Karrde had gotten used to listening to his instincts, and reading people was one of the most useful skills in smuggling. It also allowed him to recruit the best people and keep them loyal.

“I’m a smuggler, you learn to read people. Most of the time I get it right. Like this time.”

“But I hated him the entire time we’ve know each other!”

There was an edge of desperation in her voice. Mara had been such a mystery when she first joined his organization, hard to read and even harder to get to know. Her hatred towards Skywalker had been like a puzzle that he needed to solve. But now, watching the distress play over her features Karrde understood that there was a completely new facet to this puzzle he had not even considered before.

“Yes, but the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.”

He was saying it to himself as much as he was speaking to her. It had been so clear to him that Mara had worn that dress for Skywalker. Having watched their interaction aboard the _Chimaera_ and at the _Katana_.

“You’ve harbored some pretty intense feelings towards him for a long time. Maybe this is just a different side of the same coin, Mara.”

Her voice interrupted his thoughts, angry and defensive:

“I don’t love him.”

“Are you sure?”

Mara wouldn’t answer and Karrde sighed.

“Mara, I have been in this game for a long time. I know that in our world everything is for sale. Even loyalty. That is why it’s so much easier to not let those close relationships develop. To not open yourself up to the worst of betrayals.”

Mara wouldn’t look at him, her gaze fixed again out of the window. Karrde had always worked hard to keep the best people with him, to keep their loyalty. And in return he rewarded them with the things they most desired. With great sadness he realized the giving Mara what she desired would most likely take her away from him and the organization. Her loss would be a great blow.

It would be easy now, to get her to turn away from Skywalker, to give the Liaison role to someone else, ask her to return to the _Wild Karrde_ and the smuggling life. Sometime Karrde hated the noble part of himself.

“But I think that Skywalker is the real deal. He is not going to betray you.”

Mara closed her eyes, tears escaping from the corners and down her face.

“But what if I do.”

Karrde had not been expecting that, but maybe he should have, he mused. She had spent several years wanting to kill the man. Those feelings must have left some scars behind.

“Do you want to?”

“No!”

She looked at her untouched hotcake and poked it with her fork miserably.

All right. Time to bring the big guns.

“Mara, you are like family to me, so take this as coming from a friend rather than an employer; please pull your head our of your ass.”

Her eyes widened at his words and she was about to object, but Karrde lifted his hand to silence her and continued:

“No, you will listen for now. What you and Skywalker could have is rare. And hard to find, eve in a galaxy this big, and you are willing to throw it away!”

Karrde was starting to feel exasperated, a memory of his own youthful days when he had left someone behind unbidden in his mind.

“And for what? Because you’re scared? Everyone is scared, Mara.”

She didn’t answer, her face miserable.

“You are always welcome back abroad the _Wild Karrde_ , if you want to give up on the Liason job, I won’t hold it against you. But make sure that you are leaving Coruscant for the right reasons.”

Karrde grabbed another breakfast sandwich and took a bite.

“And not just because you want to run away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, the next chapter might take a while. I'm trying to work on them once by one, rather than just writing bits here and there which is my style. :) 
> 
> Hope you guys are enjoying it!


	4. Home

Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness  
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed  
You step a little closer each day  
That I can't say what's going on

Still a little bit of your song in my ear  
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear  
You step a little closer to me  
So close that I can't see what's going on

\- Damien Rice, _Cannonball_

 

“Excuse me, excuse me, Mistress Jade.”

Mara wiggled herself out from under the propulsion drive to see Solo’s gold protocol droid waiting for her. She had had to endure 12 days of it’s whining in Wayland and she was in no mood to hear more.

Karrde had left the _Starry Ice_ with her after he left Coruscant a few days ago. Its NavSat had been glitching out repeatedly and Karrde had asked her to get it fixed before she left. Instead of pondering on Karrde’s advice she had decided to fix the NavSat herself, which is why she was now trapped between the main drive core and _Goldenrod_ , as Solo had called the droid.

“Princess Leia Organa Solo is inviting you to attend brunch at the Organa Solo residence at 10 am standard Coruscant time tomorrow.”

“Why?”

The droid seemed perplexed by her question.

“As a representative of the Smuggler’s Alliance, Princess Leia Organan Solo would like for you to attend a brunch at the Solo reci…”

“Is this about the trade negotiations?”

The droid seemed rather put off by the interruption.

“Would you like for me to suggest an alternative time if 10 am Coruscant standard time is not suitable?”

Its voice was prissy and pinched and it was looking at her with its gold head cocked to the side. Mara sighed. Organa Solo probably wanted to chase Mara away from her brother in person. She might as well attend now and tell Organa Solo that she would be out of the Core systems as soon as the NavSat was fixed.

“Tell Organa Solo that I’ll be there.”

“Wonderful! She will be very happy that you have accepted her invitation.”

Mara wondered, not for the first time, who in the universe had programmed the droid to quite so irritating.

She wiped some of the grease off her face and threw the power tools back into their boxes. The _Starry Ice’s_ NavSat had provided enough of a distraction for her to avoid thinking about anything that Karrde had said. Or the look of horror on Organa Solo’s face in Luke’s apartment.

However, nothing in the universe would have been able to distract her thoughts from Skywalker now. From the feel of his mind and body, from the things that she was starting to feel towards him or from the dreams that were now her constant companions.

But none of this mattered. She would have to walk away. It would be better for everyone.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Leia had asked Han to take Luke out to the Smahsball finals, she had even secured the senate box for them. Han had been a bit suspicious at first but his desire to see the game had overcome any objections. She hoped that he would bring Luke back to their apartment in the late afternoon after the game to see the twins. Her plan was to get Mara to stay, or if she had already left by then, Luke would never know about her meddling.

Leia had also given Winter the day off. While the other woman was an integral part of her family, she had a feeling that having anyone else around would not be conductive to this particular enterprise. So, she arranged the food on the table by herself. For the fourth time. She’d hosted dignitaries, royalty and even her own adversaries in the first years of the rebellion. But in some way this felt more important. Trying to show Mara that she was welcome in her home, and more importantly in her family.

Leia had seen a glimpse of the softer side of Mara is that containment cell, after the attack on her babies. She’d felt the turmoil and those formidable barriers that kept all of that emotion contained. She caught a brief glimpse of a woman who felt deeply and rarely let anyone in. If Luke had seen more of that side of her, if Mara had let him in... There was more on the line than just an infatuation.

In the past Leia had let her own stubbornness come in the way of her feelings. The image of Han being lowered into the carbonate freezing chamber flashed in her mind. She didn’t want Mara to repeat her mistakes, and she didn’t want Luke to have to watch Mara walk away ever again.

The doorbell jolted Leia out of her thoughts and she took one final look at the table. This would have to do.

Mara stood at the door. She was holding a bottle of Daruvvian Champagne, dressed in tight black trousers, a loose, dark grey sweater and a dark blue scarf, probably as a defense against the fall winds already whipping around the city.

“Hi Mara, please come in.”

The other woman walked through the door, handed Leia that bottle of champagne and unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and shoulders.

Leia made her way to the kitchen come dining room come living room, with Mara close behind.

“Your droid was a bit vague about the purpose of this meeting.”

Leia shrugged, placing the bottle of the set table.

“I felt that I never got a chance to properly thank you for everything you have done for my family.”

Leia motioned towards the twins sitting in their rockers distracted by the slowly moving X-Wing mobile that had been a present from Wedge.

Mara smiled at their direction.

“You really shouldn’t have.”

“Please, Mara. Let me thank you.”

The other woman seemed to freeze for a moment. Leia could feel it again, that crash of emotions behind the barriers in her mind. But Mara shook of the turmoil and smiled at Leia and moved towards the table.

“All right.”

Mara sat down at the table, looking at the spread appreciatively. Leia started to open the bottle of champagne.

“Let me, just make some mimosas for us.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

In the first two hours Leia discovered great many things about Mara, such as she had a huge sweet tooth, she snorted when she laughed, and she had an acerbic wit that would have made even a Grand Moff wither.

Leia had never though that she would meet anyone who would share the feelings she had experienced while growing up. Living with the vague memories of her mother, the knowledge of being adopted and growing up in the glare of court life. And most importantly, never totally feeling like you belonged in your own family, and working hard to prove that you did.

Leia was surprised that after opening up to Mara about her life, the other woman was willing, almost eager to share her own experiences. Of growing up in the Imperial court, the harsh training regiment, becoming a dancer and a fighter. She spoke of how she hung up on Palpatine’s every word, savoring the rare praise he gave her. Finally she spoke about the memories of her parents, her eyes sneaking periodically to the twins.

After finishing the brunch, they had moved to the sofa, a new model, after the attack had destroyed most of their previous furniture. Sharing stories from their times in court. Mara sat with her feet tucked under her body, her hands flailing around as she described her first flying lesson in a TIE fighter with a hot shot imperial pilot.

“All the girls in the company liked him. Unfortunately none of them were aware that his tastes ran to the… masculine variety. I think that I set him up with one of the Imperial guards in training the following year. Not that fraternization was allowed, but there was all sort of non-compliant activity going on in the barracks.”

She finished her story with a salacious wiggle of her eyebrows. Leia grinned and emptied her mimosa.

“Speaking of men… the other day, at Luke’s.”

Mara’s face froze, her smile vanishing completely.

“Please, Leia…”

Leia was not perturbed, they needed to get this out in the open. Mara would clearly never bring it up by herself and Leia refused to dance around the subject any longer.

“No, let me finish. I had no idea that you were there, I would never have barged in like that if I knew.”

“Look, I have no intentions towards Luke.”

“I was sort of hoping that you did.”

Leia could feel her shock though the force, Mara’s barriers momentarily weakened.

“What?”

Leia pushed her advantange:

“I was going to say that if I knew you were there I would have invited the both of you for a walk around Civic Park and breakfast at the Lake House restaurant. It has become very baby friendly in the past year.”

Mara gaped at her, seemingly at a loss for words.

“Luke really does need a woman in his life. I mean you’ve seen that apartment of his…”

Leia mused, letting her voice become overly wistful:

“I was hoping that you would have taken him off our hands, but if you’re not interested… I guess I’m going to have to go with plan B, which is the dating agency.”

“Dating agency?!”

She enjoyed the edge to Mara’s voice, and secretly hoped that it was jealousy. She couldn’t help herself but continue:

“It’s hard to find a woman for the only Jedi Knight left in the galaxy. We wouldn’t want to see him with a silly groupie or some vapid social climber.”

Leia tried to keep her face neutral, even with complete outrage playing over Mara’s features.

“You’re having me on, right?”

Finally Leia’s reserve broke and she had to laugh.

“Of course! But you two are being ridiculous. And you would have not listened to me otherwise.”

“I’m…”

Mara stopped mid sentence, seemingly thinking better of answering, and Leia smirked.

“You know, it’s almost like in all the classic holos. A boy from a Tattooine moisture farm meets a haughty Coruscanti city girl.”

“I’m not haughty!”

Mara’s outrage was quite sweet, Leia thought, her mind going back to her own courtship with Han, that had been less than conventional.

“I’m not judging! I’m a Princess who married a smuggler and look how that turned out.”

Mara cocked her head to the side to consider this.

“Fair point… But in most of the holos the city girl is not actively trying to kill the farm boy.”

For some reason Leia had never really considered Mara’s threat to kill Luke that seriously. Maybe it had been a Jedi sense or something else. Mara was not going to be able to distract her by brining it up again.

“You’re not trying to kill him now, are you?”

“No!”

“Exactly, so why you are fighting this so hard?”

Mara seemed very uncomfortable, her eyes darting around the room, refusing the meet Leia’s.

“He’s a Jedi, like you said. A hero. All noble and pure… and other crap.”

She finished lamely. Leia had sometimes wondered if Han had ever felt like this, that her station put out her way beyond him, beyond the reach of marriage and a family.

When she’d met Luke for the first time, he had been a naïve farm boy looking for an adventure. He had become much more serious over the years, the hardships of war stripping him of his youthful idealism. But underneath it all was still the humble farm boy, who had only a few very simple needs and desires.

“I don’t think that Luke sees himself like that. And you should listen the way he talks about you…”

“Oh no….”

Mara buried her face in her hands, but after a moment looked back up to Leia.

“He talks about me?”

 _Does he ever_ , Leia scoffed in the privacy of her mind. During their walk around Civic Park he had spilled the whole story to Leia, seemingly relieved to be able to talk to someone. From rescuing her at the _Katana_ , to the fugitive kiss in Wayland and the Banquet. He had used words like luminous and amazing and out of my league.

And Mara seemed to have no idea.

“Mara, Luke is crazy about you. He will probably try to kill me for telling you all of this, but what else are siblings for!”

In her minds eye Leia could almost see the blush creeping over her brother’s face, which made her smile.

“I never got to embarrass him as a teenager, so I’m just making up for lost time.”

Mara was still looking at her incredulously.

“So, you aren’t trying to tell me to leave you brother alone?”

“Of course not! Don’t be silly.”

Mara hesitated for a moment, as if in doubt whether to voice her thoughts or not.

“But… I used to work for the Emperor. ”

Leia’s face got serious suddenly.

“And Lando betrayed us to Vader. And he is still our friend.”

Leia reached for the other woman’s hand, trying to make her understand.

“Mara, you may have worked for Palpatine, but you saved my children, prevented another clone war and killed a dangerous dark Jedi just in the past six months. I would be honored to have you as a friend.”

Mara seemed to consider this, and Leia took a depth breath.

“I don’t want to pressure you either way with Luke, but I just want you to know that you are always welcome in my family. No matter what happens.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Luke had been surprised at Han’s sudden invitation to the Smashball finals. But his friend’s genuine excitement about finally having a free rein in the senate box had won him over. He hadn’t been able to see Han that much outside of their work for the New Republic, and Luke could tolerate a few personal questions if it made his friend this happy.

The game had been great, the teams evenly matched and the play had gone into overtime, with Han cheering and weeping in equal measure. Han had also insisted on raiding the private bar for all the Cornelian beers it held.

As they arrived back at the housing complex Han suggested that he come up to see the twins and Leia, maybe stay for dinner. Luke hadn’t seen Leia since the awkward morning at his apartment, and it might be good to see his sister again. Just to make sure that she didn’t worry herself too much.

Leia met them at the door, her smile was wide as she kissed her husband hello. Luke could feel her force sense enveloping them both, blocking out the rest of the apartment.

“How was the game? Hello, Luke!”

She sounded happy but the barrier she had between them and the living area wasn’t wavering. Not noting anything amiss, Han started to fill his wife in on all the intricate details of the game as they made their way to the living room. Both him and Han froze in the entrance.

Mara was there. She was half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, holding Jaina aloft over her head and making hyperdrive noises. She lowered Jaina’s face to her own, made another whooshing hyperdrive noise and hoisted her into the air again while the baby squealed happily. She seemed totally oblivious to his presence, Jaina taking her full attention.

Luke felt it like a sucker punch to the stomach. Seeing her with his niece, with a gentle smile on her face, like she belonged.

He could feel the exact moment Mara realized that he was there. Her body freezing with Jaina suspended over her, and her barriers slamming into place with so much force that even the baby must have felt it, as she began to whimper. That seemed to shake her out of her shock, as she got up from the sofa and gathered Jaina against her chest soothing and rocking her. Luke could feel her reaching out to Jaina through the force to calm her.

It must have taken Leia a considerable amount of concentration to distract both him and Mara at the same time.

Mara’s eyes searched for Leia across the room.

“Leia, would you mind taking her, I think that it’s time that I head off.”

But his sister seemed to have other ideas:

“Oh, no, no no! You two are going to do some talking.”

Leia had a solid grip on his elbow now and was advancing on Mara, pulling him along.

“Han, take Jaina.”

Han came forward to take the baby and Mara ease her into Han’s arms, just in time for Leia to grab her as well and march both of them to the door leading out to the newly constructed balcony. Luke tried to object, eyeing the darkened sky.

“Leia it’s quite cold outside…”

But his sister resolute pushed them both through into the balcony.

“Well, you can warm each other!”

And then she closed the door.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Leia had firmly closed the balcony door behind her and had marched Han out of the living room. Leaving Luke and Mara standing in the empty balcony. It had been constructed after the attack as an alternative escape route and it would also give the apartment some nice outside space in the summer.

Mara moved away from the door, leaning over the banister, wind catching some loose strands of hair around her face. Her mind was unsettled, Luke could sense the turmoil, even past her barriers.

“Your sister said that you… cared about me.”

She spoke in to the open air, not looking at him. Mara had never been one for small talk, Luke mused.

“Well, I don’t make a habit out of sleeping with people I’m not attached to.”

The toll of trying to keep her rejection from getting to him was wearing him down, making him sound more irate than he intended.

“Do you?”

She seemed a bit taken back by the question.

“Well… yes.”

At least she was being honest, her frank proposal at the Banquet now making more sense.

“Sex, is just sex. I mean it used to be.”

Her voice was trying for flippant, but not quite succeeding, and Luke wondered for a brief moment of how many there had been before him. Mara sighed, bowing her head, as if sensing his thoughts.

“I didn’t think that sleeping with you would make me feel anything.”

For a moment she closed her eyes and Luke could feel the hot jungle around him, the feel of her body against his own, the newness of the contact, the excitement and arousal.

“After Wayland, I wanted you and I thought that it was just physical. That if I could just get it out of my system, then everything would go back to normal.”

She let out a hollow laugh, shaking hear head.

“Show’s how much I know…”

Luke had sheltered the faint hope for days now, trying to keep it burning in his heart. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, how much he had come to feel for Mara, of how much of a hold she already had over him.

“And now?”

Luke was surprised at how uncertain he sounded. Mara looked away, but her hand reached out and covered his on the banister. Then Luke felt it, the opening in the barriers of her mind. Inviting him in.

Gently he delved into her mind. He had been here before, on both times they’d had sex, but now it felt different. Rather than just sharing in her pleasure he moved deeper, trying to touch her emotions, memories, her thoughts.

Suddenly, like descending through the cloud cover in his X-wing, he felt her fears, her fear of rejection, her fear of the loss of her independence, of loosing herself with someone more powerful than she. But warring with the fear he also felt her longing, the hesitant love and her primal attraction and desire.

He smiled, wanting her to feel his relief and joy, his reverence for this gift that she was sharing with him. In turn Luke reciprocated, inviting her into his own mind. Guiding her through his memories.

The terror he had felt at the _Katana_ when she had been hit. Feeling like time had stopped around them as he had pulled her from the broken ejector seat into his arms in the hangar bay.

His surprise at her kiss in Wayland, surprise and joy. The realization in the throne room that he would rather sacrifice himself than leave her behind, would rather be torn apart by the dark side than have that fate fall on her.

The months of distraction and dreams that followed.

Watching her descend those stairs, with his heart pounding in his chest. _Yes, this is for you_.

His fragile hopes for them. The image of her with Jaina burned in his mind.

Mara saw them all, absorbed them, wrapped them around herself like a blanket.

With the slow joining of their minds, she moved to him. Mara’s head under his chin, her nose in the hollow of his throat, locked in a loose embrace.

“I would never ask you to give up on the Smuggler’s Alliance or your work with Karrde.”

Luke’s voice was rough, filled with emotion. It was the first thing that came to his mind. Her fears still lingering in his mind, and he wanted to dispatch them, one by one.

“And whether you want to train as a Jedi is up to you.”

She laughed, mixed with a sob.

“Just so you know, I’m not going to call you ‘master’. Ever.”

Her voice was grave, but the effect was slightly lost as she was speaking to his collarbone. Luke smiled against her temple.

“Deal.”

Luke tightened his hold around her, and Mara’s arms wrapped around his middle, her body molding into his. For a moment they just stood, wind picking up around them, a few crumpled leaves falling onto the balcony floor. Their minds entwined, exploring and learning each other.

Luke coaxed her face up from his chest, gently cradling her jaw in his palms. Her luminous green eyes boring into his, filled with an emotion he was afraid to name.

The kiss was like the first. And nothing like it at all.

_I have just found you and I don’t want to loose you._

Mara’s hands tightened their hold over his back. Her lips answering him, opening under his.

_You won’t. I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it. At least for now.
> 
> Luke and Mara have many adventures ahead of them. Many evils to defeat and new worlds to discover. But those are different stories. 
> 
> I will leave you with a quote from _Shakespeare in Love_ that is the most fitting description of the feelings I have for Mara right now: 
> 
>  
> 
> _The brave vessel is dashed all to pieces, and all the helpless souls within her drowned... all save one... a lady... whose soul is greater than the ocean... and her spirit stronger than the sea's embrace..._
> 
>  
> 
> _Not for her a watery end, but a new life beginning on a stranger shore._
> 
>  
> 
> _It will be a love story... for she will be my heroine for all time._


End file.
